Life can be unfair sometimes

Approximately 4 weeks ago my mom went to visit a doctor because she had an ache somewhere. Nothing too serious, annoying and it just wouldn’t go away. It took another 2 weeks before a decision was taken to get X-rays. The complaints didn’t seem to fit the normal stuff like elderly age, muscle issues etc.

After 2 weeks of uncertainty, lots of different scans and analysis, the verdict was that the cancer has settled in many different places, from skeleton, spinal cord to liver, lungs and a few more places. In a split second she turned from a perfectly healthy woman into a dying cancer patient.

My mom has lived her entire live caring for others. Husband, children, grandchildren, family, friends. She has always been there to help and care. She’s Greek, and by default that makes you a family oriented person. I cannot remember anything else than her worrying and taking care of worries of other people. I would not be the person I am today, living the live I am living, without her care and faith that I would make the best out of my live.

And now disaster or faith strikes and it has given her a final warning. She knows she will not live to see her grandchildren grow up and make something out of their lives. She will be a cancer patient for the rest of the time that will be given to her. At this point, we don’t really know if that will be 6 months or 6 years. It will involve lots of treatment and probably foul medicine.

She is determined to make the best out of it. And with emotions flying around, trying to come to terms with the cards that have been dealt, she is mostly worried about all of us instead of herself!

Life can be so unfair sometimes (it’s probably not unfair, just indifferent). I cannot help but think that she deserves so much more than such an end. She’s always wanted us to make the best of our lives. The time has come that we will have to take good care of her instead of her taking care of us. We don’t know how long this will last, but I’m determined to make every minute count, whether it is family or business.

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18 Responses to Life can be unfair sometimes

  1. Time stands still for a moment, Alexander. That is shocking news to say the least – and it could (and does) happen to so many people around us, especially when you get older yourself

    I hope (and somehow trust) you and your family will make the best of this as apparently you have done so far with Life itself

    Who knows, maybe at some point in time you’ll take this post out of Uncategorized and put it somewhere…

    Martijn

  2. Thomas says:

    Dear Alexander,

    I live in Germany Berlin so I want to excuse my bad english. I feel sad about that news and wish your mum and your family all the best for the future time.

    A godd friend of mine has breast cancer so I have done the best thing I can… Dive deep into that topic and learn everything possible about it. Today the science can tell you very much about cancer and the lifestyle (nutrition) which helps to prevent or cure it. No, I am not an esotheric guru and I know that there is a lot of hoax in that field.

    I will give you some hints to start a research with scientific background:

    - First a really, really good book: http://www.amazon.com/Foods-That-Fight-Cancer-Preventing/dp/0771011350/ref=sr_1_3?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1281697304&sr=8-3

    - http://www.curcuminresearch.org/PDF/Dorai%20T-41.pdf

    - http://pubs.acs.org/doi/abs/10.1021/jf020665f

    - http://ebm.rsmjournals.com/cgi/content/abstract/234/8/825

    - So the main Keywords are: Every day Vegetables (and be sure to use the ones with the highest impact on our health), Fish or flax seed (Omega 3), Spices and sunlight (for vitamine D).

    So, this should be enough for a short introduction. If you want more infos, I have some further articles. It is the best to know everything about your “enemy”. Good luck! :-)

    • Thomas, there is nothing wrong with your English, and your input is highly appreciated. Thanks for all the info, I’ll take a look at all of it (we’ve obviously done a lot of researching ourselves too)

  3. Robert Diana says:

    Alexander,

    Nobody should go through the pain of dealing with something like this. Hopefully, you still have many years with her.

    Good luck, be strong, and live life to the fullest.

  4. Alexander, I met you briefly at Blog08, I was the Aussie lady sitting in front of you but I have always been a fan of your blog & independent thinking about online. I want to convey my best wishes to you & your mother & family for this trouble & tragedy that you are facing. I will hold a positive focus for your Mother & hope that she will continue to enjoy the rest of her life & not suffer. Best Pemo Theodore

  5. Hey Alex, hope you still get to enjoy her and she you for as long as possible. I wish you and your mother all the strength in the time that lies ahead of you family.

  6. Doug says:

    Best wishes, hopefully you’ll be able to enjoy each other’s company for several years to come.

  7. Andy DeSoto says:

    Just want you to know that your readers are thinking about you during this difficult time.

  8. Alexander, I’ve been a regular reader and fan of your blog / thoughts for some time now, so although the sun is shining outside as I’m writing this, your post really saddens me.

    First of all I would like to wish all the strength and courage in the world to your mother, yourself and your family to deal with this awful situation. Having a Portuguese/Cape Verdean background myself, I can imagine the impact of this awful, harsh news on your family and close relatives.

    I also fully understand your sentiment of how it often seems that the good people in the world seem to be suffering the most ordeals. I really hope this brings everyone near and dear to you and your mother closer to eachother and i also hope you get to spend as much time together as possible.

    Best,
    Anibal

  9. meriam says:

    thinking of your family today…………
    wishing you all lots of strength………

    love
    Meriam

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